Yesterday a quarter fell out of a pair of jeans as I was hanging them up, and as I bent down to pick it up, I let out a "oof"-like grunt. This was another in a long series of horrifying indicators that I might be aging. The sound was so automatic that I couldn't figure out whether I made it because: a. My body was objecting to the strenuous task of bending at the waist, b. I was annoyed at wasting precious seconds of my morning by picking up loose change, or c. I just like to hear the sound of my own voice. In an attempt to banish the first possibility, I bent down repeatedly to pick up 15 imaginary quarters and didn't let a sound pass through my lips. It was the most exercise I had had in a month. But I fear I might cause a brain aneuryism if I keep stifling myself so that I don't have to move any muscles.