In which I learn how to avoid pledge drives and looking like a flag

I've discovered a few new things thanks to friends' emails. First, you can turn off your radio during NPR pledge drives and still get that Nicaraguan chloroform high by tuning into Irrational Public Radio. I recommend Inside the Metal Box; an interview with claustrophobic strangler and outdoor chef Graham Von Shreinhaus. It's as if Bob and Ray collaborated with Alfred Hitchcock. Second, my friend Alan from Albany is deservedly in the finals for "Best Dressed Man of the Capital Region." I'm afraid that I couldn't pull off half of these outfits, but at least Alan showed me how to wear red, white, and blue without looking like a candidate for County Anti-Subversion Commissioner. I think it's the light shade of jeans, along with the watch and shoes. Finally, I learned not to take leftovers home from a restaurant where this happens. I don't want to eat it, but I'm afraid of what may crawl out of my garbage disposal if I try to get rid of the stuff down there.