Another way that Massachusetts is un-American: We hate Lassie!

Here's another map quickie for you. As of 2001, pets of both species were big in almost the entire West, plus Maine and West Virginia. Those two states are among the most rural in the East, but it may be significant that they also have very large senior-citizen populations. Cats don't cut it in the South (are they considered Democratic?), and neither kind of animal is very popular in the Midwest or mid-Atlantic.

Dogs aren't so popular in New England (it sounds unbelievable, but apparently there is more sh*t on the ground in Atlanta and Memphis!) or California, which must be due to our smaller houses. But what about North Dakota and Utah? Anyone have an explanation?

As is so often the case, Massachusetts is at the extreme. Only 21.4 percent of households here include dogs, which is the lowest rate in the entire U.S. (Data not available for Alaska or Hawaii.) At the other end of the continuum, 50.3 percent of households in West Virginia have the flea collectors. Massachusetts has cats in 32.7 percent of homes, making us one of only nine states where spooky, cold-hearted parasites outnumber emotionally needy freeloaders.